Ota girl, Lagos babe.

 

OTA GIRL, LAGOS BABE

RELOCATION

 

It all started when I packed my life into two boxes and headed for Lagos

A week earlier I had just graduated from the university and celebrated in grand style. Little did I know what was waiting for me on the streets of lagos.

It was NYSC that brought me here o. I had worked my posting to Lagos and also gone to collect my acceptance letter from a media house on the island. “Me, a 9-5 girlie?” I thought to myself as my journey to Lagos began on a Saturday morning. I was to live with my sister for the entire duration of my service year since her house was closer to my office. Work was to begin on Monday. Here I was, so uncertain about what I was going to face. How would I seamlessly transition into office work? Me wey no get any single work experience. Would my colleagues at work like me? I wasn’t about to deal with any office drama with anybody o

Work resumed on Monday. I was introduced to my boss alongside two other girls who were going to be working in the same department as me. Monday was just for briefing. I went home quite early that day in preparation for the next day. CDS. I had absolutely no idea how I was going to get there. Tuesday came, I entered ‘korope’ to an unknown destination. I sha dey go were I no know. Thankfully, there were two other corpers in the bus with me and they were nice enough to let me follow them to the local government. On getting there, I saw so many familiar faces from my university. I saw four of my course mates. I heaved a huge sigh of relief

Maybe this Lagos no too bad after all.

 

CORPER WEEE!!!

If you know me, you will know how shy I can be. I hated the attention that came with wearing my khaki. Random people will just start shouting ‘corper weee’ on the road. “Abeg o, stop hailing me” I whispered to myself occasionally as I came in contact with these people

Nothing, I mean absolutely nothing ever prepares you for the shege you will see during the full course of your service year. Is it the hassle of trying to thumbprint, shouting at the executives who were being unreasonable most times. The wait hours? Don’t even get me started on that. Clearance days were my favourite days as a corper. It was less draining compared to the CDS that had me waiting for hours and hours like I didn’t have better use for my time.

My only consolation was that I had a friend from my course who lived close to me. We would hop on buses together to and fro when going to the local government. Looking back, I wonder what would have happened if I didn’t have a friend. Thankfully, we joked, laughed and saw real shege and hunger together. The shege we saw then, we shall see it no more.

November 9^th 2023 marked the end of this sojourn called NYSC. I collected my certificate, took pictures and bade the four walls of Eti-Osa 1 local government good bye.

NYSC?? Never again and I absolutely don’t recommend.

 

WORK

I struggled a bit at the beginning a lot. A night crawler like me having to go to bed super early just to be up by 5am. If you know me well, you will know how I detest waking up early in the morning. As that saying goes, ‘Not as convenient but as demanded’. The money definitely had to be made. As they say again “Owo ni koko”. I had never really had a feel of what the media aspect of my course was about. I was focused on the advertising aspect. It was a period of learning, unlearning and relearning. But trust office people to do their “amebo” thing now

“I am very sure you don’t wash your clothes with your hands, you wash everything with washing machine even down to your undies” my male colleague blurted out to the amusement of everyone at the office that day. I was too stunned to speak. Shocked was an understatement to what I felt that day. Why would you even say something like that in front of everybody? What gave you the courage and the effrontery to do so? One thing about nosey people, they will always profile you and make baseless assumptions about your looks. They have this ‘I know it all syndrome’ which is so sickening to say the least. That day moving forward, I made an internal decision never to engage in senseless conversations with them, never to speak unless I was spoken to, to mind my business and focus on the job that paid me. And it remained that way till I left.

Everything was going on smoothly till they started owing salaries. I used to see these things in movies but never thought it could happen to me. In this Lagos, if you say it can’t be you, trust me it could be you in an instant. ’Ahhh how much is my salary tori olorun that these people are still withholding it from me’ I thought to myself as I dragged myself to work on subsequent days. I couldn’t keep up anymore. I had exhausted my ‘alawee’ on transportation and feeding. My savings were gradually reducing and I was literally helpless. I took my ‘voluntary’ leave and didn’t go to work on most days. ‘Anybody that is looking for me should be able to pay my transport fare to and fro’ I thought to myself.

It was a very traumatic experience for me I won’t lie. I had broken down in tears severally at the slightest inconvenience I had faced. I mean I had prepared for things not to go my way some of the time, but I never imagined in my wildest dreams that salary will be part of the problems. As I write this, they are still owing me some money, but guess what? The children of God must surely survive.

 

IF YOU NO WISE FOR LAGOS, YOU NO FIT WISE FOR ANYWHERE O

That saying that goes “Eko lo ti ma ko ogbon”, resonated with me so well after this experience. I lost my entire life savings to some useless scam that could have been avoided if I was street smart. Being book smart doesn’t equate with being street smart. If there was one lesson I took out of Lagos, this was definitely the one. I lost everything I had worked hard for and saved up since my university days all in one night.

It felt like a terrible dream I needed serious re-awakening from. All my money gone? Just like that? I cried my eyes out till I had no strength to continue again. How could I have made such a mistake. I was so ashamed of myself. A whole graduate falling victim to such circumstance was so embarrassing to say the least. But we serve a God of restoration. God used my cousin and my aunty to give me some money. Looking back at it now, I just smile cause in other words ‘na only me know the shege wey my eye see’. I couldn’t even tell anyone about the incident even my friends. How do I even explain myself? Where do I begin from? I kept it to myself and thank God it’s all in the past now.

 

WOLE PELU CHANGE E O!!!

Navigating lagos meant knowing how to take public transportation. I was absolutely new to this type of life. ‘Ajebo’ as most people would refer to me as, had to learn how to enter these buses. Overtime, before coming to Lagos I had heard about the good, bad and ugly tales of these buses. Small girl like me jumping bus? Wetin Tami no go see for this Lagos o

Jumping buses will have you screaming ‘Owa ooo’ at the top of your lungs to anyone who cared to listen once you were approaching your destination. “Me I’m shy o, how I wan take shout bayi” I thought to myself on most days as I drew nearer to my destination. I came up with a temporary solution.

Since I couldn’t shout, I vowed to always sit down either at the front or directly behind the driver so I could just tap him or whisper to him to stop at my destination. A win-win situation right? The violent taketh it by force and I had to put my brain to good use. Emi front seat warrior a.k.a passenger princess. It worked pretty well for me most of the time since I always entered these small ‘korope’ buses. That way I could care less about having to shout in order to alight at my destination.

I also never entered these buses when they were too full. Once a bus stops in front of me, I carry out a quick routine check and survey the passengers in the bus. Is there any woman there? Why are there only men seated on an entire row? Why does the bus look like this? I scrutinize the bus properly before deciding whether to embark on the journey or not. I had heard several ‘one chance’ stories and I was trying to be extra cautious of the buses I entered. In this Lagos, you can never be too careful. It is that carefulness that will end up saving you in the long run.

I started ‘flying’ bikes too. Growing up, my parents warned me about using bikes. According to them, my sister got injured while on a bike. That automatically meant no bike for me too. But in this Lagos, it’s like writing your story over again on a fresh page. Nobody cares what you have been through or what you are currently facing. You have to get along with the program. When in rome, you act like a roman. In lagos, you act like a proper omo eko. And time they say is money. Nobody had to tell me twice to start using these bikes to get to my destination and at the right time of course.

Let’s just say I have been indoctrinated as a proper Lagosian. I can do these things now without batting an eyelid. So much for a dependent ‘Ajebo’ like me.

 

 OTA OR LAGOS??

You know that saying that goes, ‘you can take the girl out of the hood, but you can’t take the hood out of the girl’. This was my reality. Ota is where home is at, Lagos is where the hustle is. Ota is the place I have known and called home all my life. Lagos is a whole lot of fun, don’t get me wrong. In Lagos I could eat whatever I wanted, go wherever I wanted and also mingle with people. In Ota, it is so different. The serenity here is nothing compared to Lagos. There is just something in Lagos air. Stress. Yes, that is it. For an extremely introverted person like me, it took a huge toll on me.

But I survived. If I could survive, you can too!!

Here is to making more amazing memories in the city of laygurrzzz and other good stuff too.

An Ota girl at heart, a laygurzz big babe in real life.